crisis

At this crisis point. the autonomy of teachers is being taken away. the ability to make educated decisions based on your professional judgement. the sense of community is diminishing, teachers compete with each other, as performance based reviews become a kind of "shit sandwich"; a "you're doing well, but..". An overall lack of diversity whilst simultaneously insisted on differentiation to the endth degree. My unique qualities as a teacher and discouraged, overruled, suppressed. Yet I'm expected to differentiate my lessons so much that the child becomes entitled and lazy. They expect everything to be laid out and when they refuse we are forced to then spoon feed them the correct responses and tick the ofsted boxes. A student that refuses to listen, learn or respond becomes our fault that we are not engaging them enough. I try to create projects that excite and engage but it is impossible to compete with when all they care to engage in is the instant gratification of youtube and online games. the community spirit of the school hardly exists. students play adults off each other. several staff members have given up and mechanically do bare minimum requirements of their job, while goofing off with their co-workers as a temporary relief from the painful daily grind of working in this school. Each day becomes a painful, repetitive, boring, slog. when i first started i was shocked by the apathy and immaturity of staff members. I thought they were lazy and entitled and just didn't care. I couldn't believe they had the audacity to behave like that in a school, of all places. But i understand it so much better now; it's a survival mechanism. I too am finding myself to be lazy and apathetic. I'm constantly fighting off all my avoidance strategies. Because to engage & invest your energy, creativity, innovation in this place just leaves you drained, disenfranchised, bored, uninspired, demoralised. I have come up with so many ideas and suggestions, and they are put to the way-side almost every time. Nothing seems to inspire me anymore. I have to protect my love of art from the dulling down of the school environment. suggestions as simple as having a weekly/fortnightly, even monthly assembly falls on deaf ears, a sports day for the whole school, any idea that nurtures school spirit or whole school community is deemed "too hard" because of the behaviour of the kids. a mentor applies for government funding to do a big art project, because they needed some additional funding, it is deemed "failed" idea and forgotten. good ideas get lost and forgotten because no one is willing to take the lead, everyone is over-worked, and is slowly crushed by the weight of bullshit bureaucracy from above.